The Truth & The Mind
In college, I did go out and learn new things — thoughts that had never once crossed my mind now consumed me. Critical thinking was a must, but was also my greatest solecism.
The controversy wasn’t with the critical thinking in and of itself, but rather the conclusions that my own thinking introduced me to. These conclusions were so radically different from the general consensus that they ended up causing me a great deal of grief.
Naturally, being ostracized from society due to one’s personal opinions causes a great deal of distress and can lead to rather unsavory consequences, however, I refused to let this bother me.
Perhaps part of this feeling is due to the fact that, at the end of the day, I am comfortable being completely alone. It therefore matters not what others think of my lifestyle and/or opinions. They are a part of who I am and although I may try, I cannot separate the two, for they are one in the same.
This is likely why a girl like Kyoko seems to draw me into her gravitational pull. She sees in me what she sees in herself, and though in science they say, “opposites attract”, love undeniably demonstrates that there are exceptions to this rule.
“Don’t judge me,” she says, as she tells me a truth about herself that leaves me completely unmoved, as it is something I had discovered to be true about myself long ago.
It is like falling in love with oneself. To love yourself is to love another that is like you, because love radiates outward, not inward.
“You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.” — Song of Solomon, 4:9
I don’t know exactly why I went off into a tangent about Kyoko, but I digress.
My opinions are why I decided to leave college without a degree. I was at an institution that was bowing to the same people who wanted thinkers like myself dead — But for what? Believing the “wrong” thing?
Who is to decide what is righteous and what is deplorable? God? In my heart, yes, but I can only speak so loudly. So many have turned to The Fallen One that they have been blinded by the truth and heed to his idea of morality. God is justice, and justice is God — we know this to be true.
It’s for this reason that the evil and wicked deplore consequence so much. They know they deserve it. Though they may convince you otherwise, they do have the fear of God in their hearts. It is why they rebel against Him in such a flamboyant manner.
In my academic martyrdom, I realized that I was my own teacher — one that I didn’t need to drop five grand on in order to listen to him read from a book to me twice a week, while also regurgitating propaganda.
I learned the truths of life by reading the works of others who had discovered what was true. At least, those who I had deemed credible enough to determine the truth.
But how could I be sure it was true?
Should I do an experiment that follows the scientific method? You can’t even use the scientific method to prove the scientific method. It’s all a bunch of nonsense, honestly.
I know the truth because I feel it in my heart. It swells and causes a physical sensation that vibrates throughout my entire body in an almost-holy fashion — perhaps the presence of the Spirit? Regardless, it washes over me like a wave, and cleanses me with its purity.
So I must follow the truth. Live by the truth. Knowledge is power and power runs the world. What is there to stop me but my own apprehensions? I am my own mind, and my mind evolves on its own. May my mind be one that changes not only myself, but the world.
